Are You A Comet or a Meteor Shower?

I love this quote about challenge, taking ourselves out of the comfort zone:

“I have realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. That I see and feel who I really am, the most! I think that's what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe!

But it's only when it ventures too close to our sun or to other stars that it releases the blazing "tail" behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they're shooting stars! That's why I enjoy taking myself out of my own element, my own comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it's during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I am able to see that I'm like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire dusts begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I didn't know I had, I uncover a feeling that I didn't know existed in me... I see myself. I'm a shooting star. A meteor shower.

But I'm not going to die out. I guess I'm more like a comet then. I'm just going to keep on coming back.”             ― C. JoyBell C. 

What's The Reason You Are Not Achieving?

"What’s the reason why you haven’t yet achieved what you want? It’s not your parents, it’s not your friends, it’s not your spouse, and it’s not your "bad luck"... It’s not the world’s economic situation, it’s not the competition, it’s not your boss... and it’s not the president.

The reason is you...To be more exact, the reason is in your mind... and the things you do everyday." - Stuart Lichtman, MIT scientist

First, give your mind a brand new, positive, empowering shift!

You have to know what you really want. Instead of focusing on 3-4 goals at once, focus on ONLY 1 goal you want to accomplish in the next 30 days.

Write the goal on a piece of paper, in this format:
"By the first day of January 2011, I'll have in my possession $250,000, which will come to me in various amounts. In return for this money, I will have done whatever is necessary and appropriate in my business (describe the business you already have or intend to build) in an easily and fun manner."

Spend at least 30 minutes creating a mental picture of you having achieved your goal by the exact date specified.

You will have to close your eyes and make it as vivid as possible, involving all 5
senses (smell, sight, touch, hearing and taste) as fully as possible in the picture you create in your mind’s eye.

The Focus Primer:
You have to read aloud your description and re-create your mental picture twice a day. First thing upon waking up and 10 minutes before bedtime. This is how the mind works. Give it a target and it will hit it.

Now here comes the best part…
Translating Goals & Desires into Immediate Actions
Most people’s goals are nothing but weak desires. As a result, they will always find
excuses to stay within their comfort zone and put it off. The ultimate way to achieve
anything you want lies in ACTION.

The 48 Hours Challenge
Grab a blank piece of paper and divide the page into two. On the left side, write the
goal you want to accomplish in the next 30 days. And on the right, list down 5 things
you can do to bring you closer to your goal. Ensure that you have one task that you
can carry out immediately upon finishing this exercise.

And for the other 4 action steps you have listed, assign the specific time and date
that you will have it done, within the 48 hours assignment period.

Once you have done that, pin that piece of paper on your bathroom mirror and start
working on that first task you have set. Get it done before continuing reading the
rest of the report.

They say that taking the first step is the most difficult one. We are often held back
by inertia. The moment we start taking the first few steps towards a goal, we will
gain momentum and continue on until we realize it.

By taking on the 48 hours challenge, to act on 5 action steps within 48 hours of
setting the goal, you break out of your comfort zone and excuses and you are telling
your brain that you are SERIOUS in getting what you want!

And at the end of the 48 hours challenge, set aside 3 hours to plan further action
steps you HAVE to take EVERYDAY (excluding weekends) to get you where you want to be.

Getting what you want is easy
If it’s as easy as I’ve said, why doesn’t everybody do this? For every 100 people who read this, only 1 or 2 will end up putting it into practice. Why? Everybody desires to succeed, but only a few are truly COMMITTED to their goals. Unless you truly want what you want… you will never take the necessary action outlined in this report… for there’s always something more important that comes up to fill up your time.

Are you ready to commit?
Are you ready to make the change?
Are you ready to get what you want?

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century .

Thanksgiving Comes Before Supplication

"On Thanksgiving Day, we must be thankful for what we have, rather than focus on what we have lost. We have so much. An attitude of gratitude is received by the universe and rewarded with more of what is good. Resentment, hurt, bitterness and sadness just close our hearts and fill us with negative energy leaving no room for anything of value."

The pain of a recent unexpected break-up is still very raw. After all the love, the promises and expectations, It is normal that I feel hurt, sad and a tremendous feeling of loss. I thought this was it, my partner for the rest of my days but he changed his mind and did not give any clue that he was about to walk out. A feeling of resentment towards him for doing this to me and my children is totally warranted. How could he hurt us? How could he do this to his own children? So many questions. But do they serve me? Only if I learn from them.

I wrote the Thanksgiving Day quote as a reminder to myself. If I focus on everything I have lost and continue to feel all the negative emotions, I can only expect to attract more of the same into my life. As much as I want to believe that there is a future, there will be someone even better, of course it is difficult to even think that for a moment. But if I focus on the pain, the negative energy I send out will attract the wrong man, setting me up for more hurt in the future. I don’t want that, of course, but an unconscious belief will create the force that manifests that result again and again.

A friend asked me, “How did you attract this into your life?” I was angry with his reaction. I didn’t attract this break-up. I did everything I could to be a wonderful girlfriend and second mother to his children. But the Law of Attraction states clearly that we do attract everything into our life. We must take responsibility for our life and be on the cause side of the cause/effect equation. I must ask, “What did I do to cause this?”. I do not know but being the victim on the effect side does not serve me, it only keeps me in pain. What will it cost me to stay here? This relationship and possibly any future ones. Certainly inner peace and contentment.

I know that to create the life I want to live, I have to start with an attitude of gratitude.

I just remembered a format for prayer I learnt over twenty years ago - ACTS:
Adoration – of God
Confession – of sins
Thanksgiving – of all that we have, all that we are, all that we have received
Supplication – of all that we still ask for

Adoration and Confession are relevant when God is the Father of our life but here I want to concentrate on Thanksgiving comes before Supplication. In the Law of Attraction, we develop an attitude of gratitude in our thoughts and most importantly in our emotions because both give out energy. It is only when we are truly grateful that we can ask.

So what I am grateful for about my relationship? I am grateful that I met him, that we shared so many fun times, that he helped me be a better mother, that he shared knowledge with my sons, that he fixed my central heating system, that we learnt from each other, we experienced real happiness, togetherness, intimacy and a wonderful mutual love for each other. Some people never experience that intensity.

He is not in my life now, at least not today, but I know that he will not come back if he senses negative emotions of blame, hurt, shock, anger, bitterness, torment, suffering, rejection, neediness, pity, despair, powerlessness, panic. Who would want to go back to that? He once said he could feel my love vibes even though he was an hour’s drive away. So he can also feel the energy of negative emotions at a distance. So could any other man I meet and maybe he would be an even better man but I would never know.

Instead, I can use this pain constructively because it is often in the moments of pain that change occurs. We can stay in our comfort zone of discomfort but pain brings that all-important life-changing decision to do and feel differently.
How about courage, discovery, enthusiasm, optimism, inspiration, hope, pleasure, calm, acceptance, trust and, of course, self-love and respect?

Change can occur in the snap of a finger if we choose to try on a different way of being. I have an enormous wealth of personal development knowledge, skills and resources. I don’t need to look outside for help. I just need to change my state and be resourceful. The universe will only respond positively when I drain my heart of the negative clutter and fill up with positive energy.

So I am going to focus, really focus on something positive and be truly grateful for blessings. Let go of hurt and any negative state which does not serve me. Give thanks and more thanks. Go out into nature and breathe in the simple richness of creation and be grateful for what I have today. Tomorrow is tomorrow but today is all we truly have.

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century and The Secret and Law of Attraction .

Until the Uncomfortable Becomes Your New Comfort Zone

How many times have you heard someone say "I can't do that because I've always done...(something else)". Think of the generations of mineworkers who stubbornly saw no other option when the mines closed.

Sometimes others tell us we cannot do something because we have no previous experience in that field. They laugh at our dreams and try to hold us back. They say it is for our own good to avoid disappointment.

Fred Luster was a steelworker who was laid off. He had always had a knack for cutting hair so he became a barber. He moved into the entire field of personal grooming. From there he built Luster Products, a multimillion-dollar corporation.

What is stopping you from overcoming the unlikely, the impossible? Do you believe that you are not good enough, not clever enough, not able enough or are you just listening to the negative self-talk which is holding you back in your uncomfortable comfort zone?

There will always be obstacles, trials sent to test us eg a failed relationship, illness, financial problems, lack of support but from these we learn more to make us stronger, better equipped for the future. Are you going to allow these temporary setbacks to stop you achieving your potential? Even though you have been hurt before, it is the only way to grow. We all have the capacity to change, to lead meaninful and productive lives by awakening our consciousness. Consciousness is our energy force comprised of our thoughts, feelings and impressions from the outside world.

Find the reasons why you must grow, why you must make the change, why you must achieve. When you go inside and find those reasons, you become stronger.

When you decide that it is time to grow, be prepared for a bumpy ride until the uncomfortable becomes your new level of comfort zone.

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century

What Will You Change to Stick to Your New Year Resolutions?

"To keep thinking the same way while expecting a different result is one definition of insanity." - Albert Einstein

Did you start the year with good intentions, make new year resolutions yet find you are already falling behind?

Typical resolutions are:
stop smoking, lose weight, drink less alcohol, earn more money, start or increase exercise, find time for relaxation or meditation, spend more time with the kids, read a book a week, learn a new language or skill, write a book etc.

The problem is that the year may have changed from 2007 to 2008 but what changed in you? Unless you reach the point where the pain of continuing the old behaviour is greater than the pleasure received, you will not change. It is the pain and pleasure syndrome.

You know you want to lose weight but it is so easy to pretend that your jeans shrank in the wash and slop around in stretchy sport joggings. Perhaps even buy the next size and claim that the shop has its sizes wrong! It is only when your trousers cut in to you, making it painfully uncomfortable that your decision to change will really take effect.

“Change is a door that can only be opened from the inside”.

It is human nature to live in a comfort zone and not push outside it. The zone is a bit elastic allowing for movement but it has the most cushioning in the middle. Why make yourself uncomfortable? Why go out in the cold to exercise when it is far more comfortable indoors with a hot chocolate? Why bother learning a new language when everyone speaks English anyway?

Why? Because you are growing, you are disciplining yourself to do and achieve what you said you would do. The feeling of satisfaction has to come from within, not just from a tangible result or recognition from others. It is going to bed at night pleased with yourself, no longer making excuses.

I often see people on TV laughing in shame and embarrassment at something they failed to do. It is not funny. Better to be someone who can hold their head up and say, "I did what I needed to do to achieve my goal."

"The question of success is not will it?... Or even will there be... Or even will it ever?... The question is... Will you?" - Doug Firebaugh

I wish you the best year ever and determination and willingness to make uncomfortable changes in your life to get to where you want to be.

© Antonia Stuart-James 2008

When the Why is Big Enough

To succeed in anything, especially something that requires change from the current situation, we must have a WHY that is big enough.

• What is it that gets you so excited you can't sleep at night?
• What is the real reason for you becoming what you want to be?
• Why do you want to break out of the rat race and achieve your freedom?

When the WHY is big enough, the HOW doesn't matter!

Any obstacle can be overcome if you know WHY you want to overcome it.

When you decide to make changes, people around you will feel uncomfortable as you are challenging their comfort zones. You are going against the norm and they will try to keep you as one of them. They may laugh at you. They may tell you are crazy to even imagine you could achieve what you want. They may tell you that you are just dreaming and will never be able to do that something different.

It will take guts to stick to your plans, your wishes, your hopes and dreams. You will need to be laser-focused. Others will try to stop you, try to keep you back.

But nothing will happen until someone becomes excited. If that someone is you, you need to know WHY you are planning this future. WHY do you want it? WHY are you prepared to leave your comfort zone to seek a better life?

When the WHY is big enough, the HOW does not matter. The WHY will remove the obstacles if you become a RHINO head set on success. You will become so tough that nothing will stop you.

To remind yourself constantly of the WHY, W-R-I-T-E I-T D-O-W-N.

You have heard that before, right? But have you done it? Have you written down your goals with the WHY clearly stated?

A dream only becomes reality when it is stated as a goal with a WHY translated into WHY you MUST have it. Think about that. You might say that you would like an idyllic holiday on a tropical island. That is a vague dream. Now turn it into a WHY: "I want to take my family on an idyllic holiday on a tropical island because the children want to see tropical fish when snorkelling and I want to improve my windsurfing in the heat." That sounds better than taking the kids to see fish in an aquarium and swimming in a crowded seaside holiday resort whilst your windsurfing is done in a wet suit on a reservoir in the cold.


Now make it a MUST: "I must take my family on an idyllic holiday on a tropical island because I want my children to experience the thrill of seeing tropical fish close up on a coral reef and I must windsurf with the sun on my back."

Now transform that dream into a vision statement from the MUST sentence and paste it in large letters where you can see it everyday, along with photos of those tropical fish and someone windsurfing in the sun.

Your subconscious mind believes that what you tell it is your reality. Turn the dream into a statement IN THE PRESENT TENSE. Now you have the WHY you MUST have it, your subconscious will find the HOW and remove the obstacles.

Click here for a Hypnosis MP3 download to help you stick to your goals

Antonia Stuart-James is an English Hypnotherapist in Belgium helping people to make positive change.

“Don’t have a wishbone where your backbone should be!”

There is an old story about a man who went to a tattooist because he had always wanted a tattoo of a lion on his back. The tattooist started to sketch the tail into the man’s torso: ‘Ouch! What are you doing?’ asked the man. ‘I’m doing the lion’s tail’ replied the tattooist. ‘Well then for goodness sake let’s have a lion without a tail!’ said the man, wincing in pain. Next the artist set about on the Lion’s whiskers. ‘Ouch!’ cried the man, ‘What’s that?’ ‘The whiskers!’ said the tatooist, getting increasingly irritated. ‘Well let’s have a lion without whiskers!’ moaned his customer. The tattooist then set about doing the Lion’s back. ‘No that hurts too!’ shouted the man. At this, the tattooist finally lost patience with the man's lack of self discipline. Throwing down his tools and the man out of his shop he shouted, ‘How can you expect to get what you want without a little discomfort?’

Self-discipline is the key
To achieve what we want will involve self-discipline to take us out of the comfort zone into a time period and area of growth until we reach a new level of success which then becomes our new normal comfort zone. Going backwards will then become uncomfortable.

If you lose 20kg you feel so much more comfortable in your clothes and when moving around. It will require self-discipline and effort to lose the weight but putting the weight back on will then feel uncomfortable.

Develop the muscle of self-discipline
Like anything, if you practice self-discipline, you exercise the muscle so that it becomes stronger. If we go through life doing only what we want, when we want and not doing anything we do not feel like doing, you can imagine how easy it would be to degenerate. Nobody actually wants to empty the rubbish or clean out their car or give up time to learn new skills but think of the consequences if no one made an effort.

Personally, I feel satisfied when I have cleared out some clutter or some other boring task.

We live in an age where everything is made to look easy. Think of those exercise workouts on the Californian beach with everyone moving effortlessly with a permanent smile on their face. My 30 minutes on a treadmill three times a week in my local gym is not so glamorous and neither do I grin all the way through but I go out in the rain, listen to get-up-and-go music, get hot and sweaty and feel good for making the effort. The result shows slowly but surely. It takes self-discipline. Anyone can buy an exercise machine but you burn up more calories using it rather than just dusting it.

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments."
- Jim Rohn

© Antonia Stuart-James 2007