Are you a Perfectionist or a Completionist?

"No need to be a perfectionist but its good to be a 'completionist.' If you start it, finish it or forget it."

B Kumaris

Perfectionist is definitely not a term I relate to. I tend to be a completionist most of the time - but not always.

At the end of the year I reflected on the goals I set out to achieve, the ones I completed, and those that were left undone. I feel great about my accomplishments and I want to determine what got in the way of completing the goals that were not achieved.

A common reason a goal remains on our to do list and never ends up on the done list is because we are not 100% committed to do what it takes to get them done. Completion may mean moving into our discomfort zone because we are stepping into unknown territory. We busy ourselves with other seemingly urgent or maybe unimportant activities and then use the excuse "I don't have time."

Other enemies of completion are perfectionism and procrastination. Perfectionism and the subsequent procrastination are rooted in fear. It is not fear of the task itself or perfect results that causes the procrastination. What is there to fear about speaking in front of a group, teaching a teleclass, or making a sales call ? Yet we procrastinate about doing certain tasks because of a fear that we often do not recognize. Instead of prioritizing the task and working to complete it, we hide behind an excuse such as "I don't have the time, the money or maybe the know-how." When in reality what we really fear is a concern that we may fail, or be rejected, laughed at, judged, or criticized. So we procrastinate. We are often not even aware that these and other related fears are the real reason our progress gets derailed.

Coaching tips:
Read Take a new look at achieving your goals
• Identify the benefit of completing your goals - what will be different
• Focus on the benefits/results not on the process
• Find a mentor, coach, or accountability buddy to support you
• Join a Mastermind group
• Revise or eliminate goals that never get achieved

Excuses be gone! No more "yeah but" Take action today!

By Jean Caton

Why Do We Sabotage Our Dreams Video

I saw Topher Morrison speak yesterday and was impressed. Here is a short video from him talking about perfectionism, positive & flexible attitude, fear of what if..., and the reminder, "Wherever you go, your problems go with you."



Click on the banner for Topher Morrison's book "Settle for Excellence - Stop Chasing Perfection":
or order here


order Topher Morrison's book "Settle for Excellence - Stop Chasing Perfection" here.


Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century

Are You Waiting For Everything to be Perfect to Take Action?

I seem to have used the quote "if a thing is worth doing well it is worth doing not so well at first" quite a few times this month. Looks like a recurring theme to me.

If life is a journey then it seems to me that we should always be moving forward along the path. However some people try to become perfect in what they want to do first before starting out. That's like wanting to be a world-class figure skater and not entering the local competitions. That reticent can hold us back, and as we all know practise makes perfect. The perfectionists amongst us want to ensure that we have everything covered before stepping outside of our comfort zone. But it is outside the comfort zone that we all flourish. In fact if we never step outside that comfort zone we never learn, or improve.

Sometimes this entails a chunk of self-honesty – being real with ourselves. On page 68 of my book Remembering Perfection I tell a story about a client who had to own up to his hesitancy about stepping out of his comfort zone and getting his business going. Even his practise clients were not turning up for the session, mirroring back to him his own reticence. As we worked together he began to see that he was holding back from starting, that he was avoiding getting going because of his fear to step into a new space in his life; if he could just get better at this bit then he could get going.

That need for everything to be perfect is a protection for our heart, it can be challenging to put ourselves out there on the line but when you do it and you grow and learn you are one step closer to doing it even better. How good does that feel?!

As I was thinking about this I was reminded that I have been giving presentations for a few years now and the presentations I give now are miles better than when I started. Does that make the first ones I did wrong or bad? No, people enjoyed them, got what they came for and I learnt each time I stepped up and spoke. Just think how much experience I would have missed had I insisted that I be perfect before I started.

Is there something in your life that you are holding back from? Something that you are telling yourself; just one more book to read, just one more course to take, just one more piece of understanding or knowledge before I get going with what I truly want to do? Would now be a good time to stop doing that? If you want some support why don't you drop me a line and we can have a chat about it. Life is a journey, step by step by step.

Source: Jessica McGregor Johnson

Donny Osmond on Having to be Perfect

In 1972, I was in love with Donny Osmond. I was a teenybopper but that is not why I want to talk about Donny here.

I watched him on Biography Channel when he revealed his social anxiety disorder and the panic attacks he suffered.

After a lost decade in the 80s, he won the part of Joseph in the London show of "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat". The show became very successful with Donny in the lead role for six years. He had known how hard it was to restart his career after losing it and so developed the idea that he had to give a perfect performance every night because he was performing for standing room only audiences. He would beat himself up mentally if he made any mistakes as he told himself he had to be perfect. He did not want to lose his career again. He went in to therapy with medication. He was scared to go on stage, even though he was delighted that he had his career back.

He pinpoints the attitude of perfectionism to the early days when the Osmonds appeared on the Andy Williams Show and were known as the "one-take Osmonds". They had to live up to that reputation and Donny had to keep up with his brothers, even though he was only seven.

He recalled a negative press review after a concert in Nashville when he was 13. He thought it was a great show but the press slated him - a child. It really hurt.

One night before appearing as Joseph, he was literally shaking and said they should call for the understudy because he could not perform. His wife gave him some excellent advice,
"Why don't you do yourself a favour? Go out there and be average. Do an average job tonight for yourself and for the audience." Donny felt the weight had been taken off his shoulders. He gave the best performance ever because the pressure was gone and he had licence to be "average". He did not have to be perfect any more.

Finally, Donny said that adversity builds strength if you allow it. You let it be the foundation of your personality.