Monday, 21 December 2009

Acknowledge Your Accomplishments

If you’ve been raised to act respectful and "proper," it’s probably been instilled in you at some point in your upbringing that modesty is a virtue. You shouldn’t point out all the things you’ve accomplished or sing your own praises too loudly.

Rubbish! ;-)

Be thrilled and proud of what you’ve done. Keep a list of your accomplishments. When you accomplish something and when you succeed at something, don’t file it away somewhere. Don’t keep it a secret. Do acknowledge it. Do celebrate.

That can be difficult to do sometimes. We’re taught to be humble. If we’ve done something well, we don’t want to appear arrogant by bringing it up.

But, if you’re actually on the path to doing what you really want in life, I say, shout it from the roof tops. Or, at least keep a list.

Why should you do this? Because we never hesitate to point out where we fail. We always seem to recognise what hasn’t been done, what could have been done better, what wasn’t a good idea. Yes, it is important to know these things because they will help you to succeed by learning from the past and your mistakes.

But it’s equally important to know where you’ve succeeded, what you’ve done well. Recognising the positive results you achieve will give you confidence in your abilities to make decisions and perform your job. It will also keep you on track and focused.

Acknowledging your successes keeps you motivated. And motivation is essential so keep a log of your accomplishments.

When you, and the people around you who are impacted by your actions, see your accomplishments, right there in print, it just brings everything into focus.

Accomplishment and success is about so much more than money. One accomplishment might be that you landed an extraordinary client. One might be that your business revenue has doubled in six months. And, it’s not all about work either. One of your accomplishments could be that you were able to attend your child’s school function because you scheduled your own office hours.

Don’t play down, and do not underestimate what you’re doing. You should congratulate yourself and tap yourself on the back for following your passion, and living life on your terms. Acknowledge your accomplishments.

And, you are accomplishing something else too. You are setting an example for the next generation. When they can visually see what you’ve done, they will be inspired to pursue their own passions.

They will have living proof that anything is possible.

© Copyright Frederique Murphy, 2009


© Copyright Frederique Murphy, 2009 - Frederique Murphy publishes her weekly M3 Power newsletter for individuals who want to take their life and their business to a whole new level! She believes that a strong mindset gives you the power to move mountains and, shares her free tips and teaches exactly how to do that in her newsletters - Sign up now!

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century .

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Thank You For The Virtual Tissues My Friends

"When was the last time you experienced a crisis? Did it seem like it was the end of the world? The length of time it takes for you to recognize your outer crisis as a blessing correlates with your degree of wisdom. Crisis is ultimately blessings. Whenever a door shuts, a window opens. Wisdom is instantaneously seeing both sides." - Dr John Demartini

Friends are so valuable. I have a tendency to feel lonely, living alone with my sons in the middle of the woods where it is far too quiet for me. But over the last weeks since my relationship break-up I have learned so much from my friends, on the telephone but particularly the virtual friends on Facebook, Skype and MSN Messenger. We have shared a depth of communication about what is really important. I have been blessed by conversations with people I had hardly spoken to before. There truly are angels in this world. Everyone sees the world slightly differently according to their own beliefs, attitudes, values and experiences. This is what we NLP-ers call the deletion, distortion and generalization of the Reticular Activating System. (See NLP Belgium)

When I was hurting and lost in the grief, I could only see what I had lost, what would now never be. By holding on to what I was missing, I allowed only pain to be present in my heart. My friends, of course, did not feel my pain but in their love for me, they shared their wisdom. Not the flippant but well-meant, “Pick yourself up. Plenty more fish in the see.” Yes, fish but also sharks. When your heart is full of pain you cannot imagine there could ever be anyone else who would suit so perfectly as the lost love.

“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” - Shakespeare

My wise friends allowed me to talk about the pain and loss because they knew it is the best way to work through the grief. But more, they shared quotes, recommended books and gave me self-discovery exercises to do to gain perspective on the relationship. I thought he was my soulmate and maybe he still is but we are not meant to be together at this time. What I thought was perfect I now see differently.

I see that I gave him my power. I acted as I thought he wanted. Instead of being the outgoing, sociable person that I am, the High Yellow, I settled down to domesticity, cooking every night and watching TV on the sofa. I said that I did not need anyone else and that I was happy with just his company. No more need to date, no more nights out in bars or clubs. I thought that was so superficial.

But now I see that I thrive with people. Social networking is important to me. He rejects all of that, does not even want to be one of the 350 million on Facebook.

On Friday, my birthday, I went out to dinner in an international group of 18 of which I only knew 3 people. I had some really interesting conversations, learned about cultural differences. At midnight, instead of going home to sleep with my boyfriend, I went to a new bar with four new friends: 1 South African, 1 Belgian and 2 Finns. I had never previously met someone from Finland. I thought I would feel lonely on my birthday without my ex but instead I had a fantastic evening and left at 3am. On Thursday I shall go to a Gala Cocktail party with 120 people of 37 nationalities. The possibilities are now endless.

I realize too that he was crushing my dream, causing me to doubt my ability to fulfil my vision and mission in life. He can only see life from his model of the world like most people but by limiting his contacts with the world and understanding other people’s way of being and doing, he also could not appreciate that our differences bring necessary balance. Yin and Yang in everything. Where he saw differences, I see rich variety.

The door to my ex is firmly shut because he wants to break all contact. That is sad and unnecessary but that is where he is at, cutting himself off from all social contact. His door is shut but I now have so many windows open.

A big thank you to my wise friends who sent me virtual tissues when I needed them. They kept telling me what a strong and amazing woman I am but I couldn’t see it. I no longer ‘need’ the love of my ex to make me complete because friends have poured out their love to me helping me to love myself in a way that will protect me. I no longer feel lonely in my house because I am surrounded by books full of experiences, inspirational videos on YouTube containing lessons I still have to learn. How much more interesting than sitting in front of the TV every night! I am saying yes to invitations and connecting with others but also enjoying staying in with my own company.

Our point of power is always in this moment. Instead of anticipating our heart’s desire in the future, we create it in the NOW because the NOW is all we have. The past and future are just illusion, our perception. By sharing my NOW with others, I hope, and in fact know, that others will also find strength and hope. I remain an optimist.

My previous posts:

Sadness Does Not Last Forever – Time to Move On

Bring the Light of Consciousness Into Your Pain

You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore

The Pain When Your Soulmate Leaves You

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century and Antonia Harrison's Blog. Antonia Harrison is the English Hypnotherapist in Belgium and Personal Development speaker giving workshops to groups and companies.

Jim Rohn Quote on Books

“Books are what you step on to take you to a higher shelf. The higher your stack of books, the higher the shelf you can reach.” (Jim Rohn)

Make books your friends and learn from them.

Click here for the tribute and links to a free ezine with valuable training from Jim Rohn plus a store offering all of his books, DVDs and CDs.

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

1-on-1: Get Ahead - Get a leading edge in every area of your life

Here is an interview with Jim Rohn, Denis Waitley and Chris Widener - March 5, 2009

Denis Waitley is a productivity consultant on human achievement and the best-selling author of Seeds of Greatness. Waitley has coached astronauts, Super Bowl champions and Olympic athletes.

Jim Rohn is a legendary motivational speaker and business philosopher. He has numerous best-selling audio programs and books, including The Five Major Pieces to the Life Puzzle.

Chris Widener is a radio host, motivational speaker and the best-selling author of The Angel Inside and The Art of Influence.

Q. What are some small changes I can make in my life that could result in big changes for my financial future?

Denis Waitley: When you receive your paycheck, automatically take 10 percent of the total and put it into a savings account. Remember, unless you pay your future first, you may not be able to afford to keep the lights on when it arrives. After you have made a deposit into your future savings, use the remainder of your paycheck for survival needs first: home, food, function, transportation. Use any extra money, above survival, to create a cash emergency fund that should be equal to six months of survival costs without an income.

Jim Rohn: You’ve got to have a plan for your finances! Let me share with you one of the simple principles taught to me. It’s called the 70/30 plan, and here’s how it works: With the money you make after taxes, make it your goal to live on 70 percent of that income. The remaining 30 percent is allocated in this way: 10 percent goes to charity. 10 percent goes to what I call capital investment – the part you can use to create wealth. This is the money you can use to buy, fix, manufacture or sell. The key is to engage in commerce, even if it is only on a part-time basis. Let your imagination roam – take a look at the skills you’ve developed at work, through your hobbies or something you enjoy doing in your spare time – the possibilities are endless.

And the final 10 percent goes to your savings. This is such a powerful part of your wealth plan. If you’ve ever engaged in the practice of saving money, then you’ve learned it is a wonderful tool for creating peace of mind, even if the amounts are small to begin with. There is something that happens mentally when you know that you’re saving money, knowing you’ve got a reserve built up for the “winters” that occur in everyone’s life now and then.

Now, let me say this, the 70/30 plan might not be something you can achieve right away, but remember my first suggestion: It’s the plan that counts, not the amount. So if you can only start with 97 percent and 3 percent, then start there. If you start there, eventually you can make the shift and end up at 70/30 or even better – it’s your plan!

Chris Widener: One of the principles I teach is that your short-term tasks multiplied by time equals your long-term accomplishments. This works perfectly for wealth-building. Make the following actions repeatedly over a long period of time, and watch your wealth grow!

1. Get out of debt. Eliminate all of your debt, beginning with your credit cards that have the highest interest rates first, and then be ruthless about debt.
2. Invest. Everybody should invest in ownership opportunities such as real estate, stocks and businesses. The key is to be diverse in your investments to eliminate any big exposure to failure in any one area.
3. Protect yourself. Sit down with a financial advisor and find out what kinds of insurance needs you have. Many people earn a lot of money and then see it quickly disappear because of an untimely or unfortunate event.

Q. What is the best balance to strike between taking risks to growing my business and playing it safe?

Denis Waitley:

1. Challenge your assumptions about risk-taking. Interview successful entrepreneurs or read their biographies. Learn how they size up risks, how they measure the upside and the downside, and how they inform their intuitions on decisions involving risks.
2. You don’t have to take the full risk all at once. You can turn an avocation into your vocation gradually by test marketing your ideas on a limited basis. Take baby steps until your learn to walk on your own.
3. Don’t take a risk until you’ve established a firm goal. Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve by taking this risk? Is this risk really necessary? Can I stand the downside? After you’ve satisfied yourself that your timing seems right, launch your idea.
4. You don’t need to assume all the risk yourself. Partners, investors and lenders can share the risk with you. And the people you recruit for your business venture share the risk with you by betting that their efforts will be rewarded in the future.
5. Be prepared to sell your ideas to an indifferent world. Don’t expect others to be excited or turned-on by your new ideas. They won’t be, unless what you are doing solves their problem or creates an opportunity for them. Even then, they still won’t be until you convince them of the benefits and that you have the credibility to succeed.
6. Expect the heat and resistance, and persevere. The heat may come from your peers, the media, your friends and even from your own family. Expect it, but don’t let it stop you. Size up the resistance. Anticipate where the strongest criticism will come from. And be prepared and flexible enough to overcome objections to your approach.

Q. I want to give back more to the people in my life who matter most: my family and friends. What are some everyday ways to give back?

Jim Rohn: I think one person caring about another represents life’s greatest value.

Your relationships must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep the relationship flourishing and growing.

One of the ways you can give back is by having a serving heart. My good friend Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want out of life.” The concept he is talking about is having a heart and life that is focused on serving other people. Look for simple ways to help and serve those you care about; sometimes it could be as simple as helping unload the groceries or offering to wash the dishes after the other person cooked.

Another way is by simply being friendly. I think that we sometimes forget to be friendly to those we’re closest to because of familiarity, but being friendly can cushion the bumpy ride we sometimes experience in our relationships. Cheerfulness goes a long way toward building lasting relationships. So cheer up, put on a smile, have kind words to say to others, treat your family and friends with a great deal of friendliness, and you will see your relationships improve.

Next, be loyal. Loyalty is a commitment to another person. Sadly, loyalty is often a missing element in many relationships today. We need a higher level of “stick-to-it-iveness”! This kind of loyalty will take our relationships to a much deeper level. What a powerful and secure feeling, knowing that you have a relationship with someone who is loyal to you and you to them. The knowledge that neither of you is going anywhere, even when things get tough. Wow, how powerful!

And, finally, plan and do things that are fun! All good relationships have some element of fun. Fun brings enjoyment to the relationship, and that is important. I think that often this key element can be easily forgotten or neglected in our relationships with our family and spouse. The fun things we initially did in a new relationship, after a while, can be taken for granted or simply fall by the wayside, and we stop creating the fun and joy. So remember to consciously craft fun situations and moments; they are the glue that hold our memories together and make our lives sweet.

Chris Widener: Life isn’t about getting, but giving. And the most fulfilling thing in life is giving ourselves to those we love. Here are some thoughts on giving back to those we love and care for:

Take the time to do so. We live in such a fast-paced, busy world that, often, the biggest problem we have is just taking the time we need to give to others. Be disciplined in your time management, and make sure that you are spending time on the people you care for.

Give to them in ways that matter to them, not just what you think would be good. Gary Chapman’s book "The Five Love Languages" explains that we give to others best when we give to them according to what they value most. The Five Love Languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Find out which ways your friends and family enjoy, and then give to them in that way. Just taking the time to find out which way they receive love will be an act of giving in itself.

Do it every day. Make a goal to give to people each and every day. Decide that every day you will serve at least five people or more, if you can. You can even make a game of it and set goals for helping others each day.

Giving doesn’t have to be in a big way. Many small acts of giving can be better than one big gift. Make sure that you make giving a part of your life rather than just something you do on special occasions.

© SUCCESS Magazine, 2009 at

Click here for a FREE ezine from the late Jim Rohn who died on 6 December 2009

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Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Visualise Your Goals: Ready, Set, Go!!!

One of the biggest challenges we all face is the ability to consistently concentrate on our goals, our aspirations, our career, our dreams. With all of the many tasks and obstacles we encounter each and every day, how do we keep on our toes, and focused on all of those? I know I do, let me share with you one of my favourite techniques!

Ok, so, think of a particular goal of yours – now, you have it? Great! Do you find it hard to stay on the path? As we previously discussed, one of the best ways for you to stay on the path is to actually know why you are on that path.

You may be thinking, “Of course I know why I’m doing this.” But, sometimes with the daily distractions of life, you can lose focus. You don’t think about it anymore, because you’re getting stuck in the daily thing. You may still be on the right track, which is great news, but you just can’t see the light anymore.

One way to keep motivated is to consistently remind yourself of why you started this in the first place. I’m a very visual person, and I actually create a vision board to help me stay focused on my own end goals. Basically the concept is to put your passions, your dreams and your goals onto this board. Tear out pictures, phrases from magazines and newspapers – whatever you see that inspires you or means something to you. Then take a big piece of paper and paste them on there to create this vision board of your dreams.

Start Creating Your Vision Board Today!

If you have these visual reminders, it’s actually like you are refocusing. You can even use things that you’ve written about your passion and your dreams, or pictures or video that you’ve taken.

But as long as you do this visual reminder on a frequent basis, you can’t help but stay focused. It will refresh your memory, recharge your passion and refocus your energies.

So, use that vision board whenever you need inspiration. Whatever fire is inside of you will always stay connected because you will have a physical look at why you’re doing that particular thing you were thinking of! ;-)

Visualise Your Goals: Ready, Set, Go!!!

© Copyright Frederique Murphy, 2009 – Frederique Murphy publishes her weekly M3 Power newsletter for individuals who want to take their life and their business to a whole new level! She believes that a strong mindset gives you the power to move mountains and, shares her free tips and teaches exactly how to do that in her newsletters - sign up now!

Vision Board Software
This Vision Board software tool is a powerful System that enables you to visualize your dreams and keeps you inspired to achieve your goals. Include your own dream images, music or voice recording, empowering affirmations and power words displaying the future you intent to manifest. Then display it on your computer, iPod, on your wall, YouTube etc. Even create a “Poster Vision Board”! Apply the Law of Attraction and make your dream life come true now!

If you are serious about creating abundance and prosperity in your life, get a copy of one of those Vision Boards NOW, so you keep focused and inspired, at the same time you make sure not to miss out on their mind blowing bonus package, including bonuses from Eva Gregory, Ruben Gonzalez, Jim Driscoll, Vic Johnson, Lee Brower and Jim Bunch, to name a few. This bonus package is valued at mover $1000, and is in itself already more than worth the investment!

Click here to view the Vision Board software.

Start Creating Your Vision Board Today!

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Monday, 7 December 2009

Unleash the Power Within Offer

I remember attending Tony Robbins' seminar "Unleash the Power Within" back in 1994. I knew the seminar included the firewalk ie walking on burning coals, but my prior belief was that I would not do the firewalk, indeed I could not. No way. Yet at 2am on the first night, I was standing barefoot on a tarmac carpark outside the Birmingham NEC mentally preparing myself to reach the other side of the challenge to my limiting belief. It was 15 years ago and I do not remember what I did or said to myself but I do remember that I did it and so did another 2,000 people. When we release a limiting belief which does not serve us, we release other chains which have been holding us back. The firewalk is not an end it itself as it provides a new model for belief, allowing new areas to open in our life.
"A domino effect of potentiality."

The internal representations which produce a state that tells us that we cannot achieve are totally different to the new ones we can take on to empower us to produce positive results.

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped."

If you've never been to this seminar, I really encourage you to attend. The next one will be in Orlando and if you attend with a friend, the second ticket is free. What a great offer!

Change Your Life Now!

A detailed review of "Unleash the Power Within" seminar.

Some Tony Robbins quotes:
"Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives."

"One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular."

Are you going to direct your focus and decide to be at the next "Unleash the Power Within" seminar? Or will 2010 be like 2009 and 2008 and 2007...?

"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided."

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century

Bring The Light of Consciousness Into Your Pain

Last night I read chapter 2 of Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now" entitled "Consciousness: The Way Out of Pain". The last time I looked at this book, it did not speak to me at all but last night the words jumped off the page.

I want to share some key sentences.

It talks of pain being "some form of nonacceptance, some form of unconscious resistance to what is." The mind denies the NOW which is in fact the only reality that we have. The past and future are just our perception and an illusion. The memory is distorted by our own internal representations of how we absorb information from events, what was said, how we felt, what we told ourselves.

"As long as you are unable to access the power of the Now, every emotional pain that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in you. This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind.

Once this pain-body has taken you over, you want more pain. You become a victim. Look closely and you will find that your thinking and behaviour are designed to keep the pain going.

The pain-body, which is the dark shadow cast by the ego, is actually afraid of the light of your consciousness. If you don't face it, if you don't bring the light of your consciousness into your pain, you will be forced to relive it again and again.

The pain-body is trapped life energy. It may create physical aches and pains in different parts of the body but they won't last.

An unconscious fear of losing your identity will create strong resistance to any disidentification. In other words, you would rather be in pain - be the pain-body - than take a leap into the unknown and risk losing the familiar unhappy self.

Observe the resistance within yourself. Observe the attachment to your pain. Observe the peculiar pleasure you derive from being unhappy. Observe the compulsion to talk or think about it. The resistance will cease if you make it conscious.

Another aspect of the emotional pain that is an intrinsic part of the egoic mind is a deep-seated sense of lack or incompleteness, of not being whole.

People will often enter into a compulsive pursuit of ego-gratification and things to identify with in order to fill this hole they feel within. But the hole is always there. As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease.

By saying yes to life, we see how life suddenly starts working for us instead of against us."

These words really spoke to me in relation to the pain I have been feeling over my relationship break-up three weeks ago. It is time to release that pain, push it away for it does not serve me. I have grieved the loss enough and it is time now to spend time alone, learning to be complete in myself, not looking to a partner to complete me.

I wrote down these thoughts:
"Sometimes it is necessary to feel very alone before recognising that the only person that we need is ourselves. Others may join our party but only if they bring value to our day."

"It is in the moments of deep loneliness that we need to search inside for our best friend - ourself - and enjoy our own company."

"Think of wholeness like an orange. A protective skin outside with a bright, cheerful colour. But the skin can be pierced and reveal segments representing different areas of our life. Segments when squeezed produce a juice of tears but also a juice of vitality. The skin is the image the world sees, not necessarily what is living inside."

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now (

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now (

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century . Antonia Harrison is the English Hypnotherapist & NLP Coach in Belgium and Personal Development speaker giving workshops to groups and companies.

Build Your Profile

"Building your profile in business is very much about building your profile in life. It's about allowing yourself to become a reflection of your ultimate potential. While many will promote the techniques and strategies for getting noticed by senior peers and/or prospective clients, I believe it's through pushing yourself to be your own personal best that people around you start to admire and see you as a leader." - Dr John Demartini

The Power of Your Emotional State

“To be blind is to miss out on so much beauty but most of us waste this valuable gift by only choosing to see negativity.”

We all perceive the world through our senses, primarily the Visual – Auditory – Kinesthetic senses. In NLP we add in Olfactory (smell) and Gustatory (taste) and call these VAKOG. These are our internal representations of which we have one which is more active than the others in terms of how we feel about the world and the language we use. Some people’s primary representation changes according to the situation or their mood. We also refer to a sixth sense we call auditory digital which is self-talk.

Our experience of an event depends on our internal representations, or I/Rs for short. Through our filtering system, we delete, distort and generalize information received based on our attitudes, beliefs, values and experiences. No two people will give exactly the same account of an experience eg a traffic accident.

Alfred Korzybski noted, “The map is not the territory” meaning the map only represents the territory. A map of your country is not your country, only a graphic representation. The mental perception of a memory of an event is only our personal perception, not the event itself.

What we say or hear in our mind, or feel, will affect the behaviour we produce and our physiology. This in turn affects our emotional state. If someone is thinking unhappy thoughts, seeing someone in their mind whom they miss, their shoulders will droop, their mouth muscles will turn down and their whole physiology will become that of a depressed person. The more they hold that stance, the worse they will feel. But put a wide grin on your face, stupid as it may feel, pull your shoulders up and back and it is virtually impossible to feel depressed, regardless of the circumstances. Just a change in physiology has affected the emotional state for the better.

So, to control and direct our behaviours, we must control and direct our emotional state. To control our state, we must consciously direct our internal representations and physiologies.

When I attended a seminar which included the firewalk ie walking on burning coals, my prior belief was that I would not do the firewalk, indeed I could not. No way. Yet at 2am on the first night, I was standing barefoot on a tarmac carpark mentally preparing myself to reach the other side of the challenge to my limiting belief. It was 15 years ago and I do not remember what I did or said to myself but I do remember that I did it and so did another 2,000 people. When we release a limiting belief which does not serve us, we release other chains which have been holding us back. The firewalk is not an end it itself as it provides a new model for belief, allowing new areas to open in our life.
"A domino effect of potentiality."

The internal representations which produce a state that tells us that we cannot achieve are totally different to the new ones we can take on to empower us to produce positive results.

Sometimes we do not know what state we need to produce, what beliefs and attitudes to adopt and here we can model successful people. What do they say? What messages are they taking on board? How they do feel? We identify what is making them successful and then make those traits a part of us.

The kind of behavior people produce is the result of the state they are in. How they specifically respond out of that state is based on their models of the world.
Most people turn on the TV to change their state. Watch a comedy, lose themselves in a drama or incomprehensible to me, choose to watch a dreary programme about people doing negative things, making them feel even worse than before. Or they turn to alcohol, drugs or more positively, exercise. All of these affect our state temporarily.

We can learn techniques which lock in positive states and recall them whenever we need a boost, without resorting to external stimuli or artificial substances. This is the power of NLP.

For more information, I recommend chapter 3 of Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins entitled "The Power of the State":

Experience the Firewalk at Tony Robbins's seminar:

Out With Old Excuses. In With New Goals.

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century and The Secret and Law of Attraction . Antonia Harrison is the English Hypnotherapist & NLP Coach in Belgium and Personal Development speaker leading workshops for groups and companies.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Jim Rohn Tribute

Jim Rohn passed away on 5 December 2009. A truly great source of wisdom on life and business, he inspired so many and will be sorely missed.

He said, “I wish you a life of wealth, health and happiness, a life in which you give to yourself the gift of patience, the virtue of reason, the value of knowledge and the influence of faith in your own ability to dream about and achieve worthy rewards.”

Read the tribute to Jim Rohn

Jim Rohn quotes on Character:
"For things to change we have to change for things to get better we have to get better. Don't wish for less problems wish for more skills."

“It is the set of the sails, not the direction of the wind that determines which way we will go.”

“The few who do are the envy of those who only watch.”

"Let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you."

"Your philosophy determines whether you will go for the disciplines or continue the errors."

"We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."

"The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become."

Jim Rohn Quotes on Problems and Challenges:
"Don't wish it were easier; wish you were better. Don't wish for less problems; wish for more skills. Don't wish for less challenges; wish for more wisdom."

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of."

"To solve any problem, here are three questions to ask yourself: First, what could I do? Second, what could I read? And third, who could I ask?"

"Character isn't something you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints. It's something you weren't born with and must take responsibility for forming."

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment."

"The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path."

"Take time to gather up the past so that you will be able to draw from your experience and invest them in the future."

Jim Rohn Quotes on Goals and Planning:
"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."

"The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get."

"You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight."

Jim Rohn Quotes on Work and Success:
"We get paid for bringing value to the market place."

"You don't get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour."

"Work harder on yourself than you do on your job."

"Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day."

"Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event. You don't fail overnight. Instead, failure is a few errors in judgement, repeated every day."

"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of."

"Whoever renders service to many puts himself in line for greatness - great wealth, great return, great satisfaction, great reputation, and great joy."

Jim Rohn Quotes on Relationships:
"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy."

"One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention."

"It's okay to send flowers, but don't let the flowers do all the talking. Flowers have a limited vocabulary. About all the best flowers can say is that you remembered."

Jim Rohn quotes on reading and self-education:
"Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune."

"Miss a meal if you have to, but don't miss a book."

"The book you don't read won't help."

"Words do two major things: they provide food for the mind and create light for understanding and awareness."

"Don't just read the easy stuff. You may be entertained by it, but you will never grow from it."

"If someone is going down the wrong road, he doesn't need motivation to speed him up. What he needs is education to turn him around."

"Learning is the beginning of wealth. Learning is the beginning of health. Learning is the beginning of spirituality. Searching and learning is where the miracle process all begins."

"Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people."

Jim Rohn on Keeping Journals:
"There are three things to leave behind: your photographs, your library and your personal journals. These things are certainly going to be more valuable to future generations than your furniture!"

"Be a collector of good ideas, but don't trust your memory. The best collecting place for all of the ideas and information that comes your way is your journal."

"Don't use your mind for a filing cabinet. Use your mind to work out problems and find answers; file away good ideas in your journal."

There are many more quotes you will find but these are some of my favourites.

Click this link for the complete text of Jim Rohn’s most famous speech about Success, Life & Business: “Success in Network Marketing” which applies to any business and so much of life in general.

My message to Jim:
"I saw you speak many times, I met you in person, I read your books, listened to your words. No one person has had more impact on my life. You leave behind a wonderful legacy that touches people all over the world. May your words live on in us, your students. - Antonia Harrison

Click here for the tribute and links to a free ezine with valuable training from Jim Rohn plus a store offering all of his books, DVDs and CDs.

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century

Synchronicity Quote

"Each event is accompanied by its complementary opposite and synchronous partner. All events are like magnets with two sides or poles. See one side only and you will react, see both sides simultaneously and you will feel loved and just gratefully and wisely act." - Dr John Demartini

Visit Personal Development in the 21st Century .

Thursday, 3 December 2009

Release Unwanted Thoughts, Feelings or Beliefs

Today I have a great audio for you to release any unwanted thought, feeling or belief. It works on negative emotions like anxiety, anger, depression and guilt.

It also works when you feel stuck in a limiting belief like "I'm not worthy" or "It's impossible".

Best of all, you can use the "Core Energy Technique" to connect with your heart and your true purpose. Go listen to this here:

great audio for you to release any unwanted thought, feeling or belief.

Visit from Personal Development in the 21st Century

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Are You Building Walls or Bridges?

“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." - Joseph F. Newton

I once played a game on a seminar where we had to write down ten words about ourselves starting with “I am” eg I am a mother, I am English, I am a skier, I am intelligent. With that list pinned to our chest, we then walked around the room of 150 people looking for someone else who displayed similar “I ams”. I found people with other description words to which I could relate but not the ones on my list. When the facilitator stopped the game, there were three of us who had not found a similar partner. The question is,
“If you are looking for differences to keep you apart in this game, where else are you doing this in your life?”

In any form of relationship, we cannot expect to find a photocopy of ourselves. In fact, that would be boring because we would never learn from each other.

Countries go to war over a small difference of opinion, instead of finding a way to live in harmony.

Companies pull out of mergers due to a difference in operating procedures, instead of focusing on the why of mutual benefits and then working out how to work together.

Relationships fall apart because one partner is looking for certain attributes or interests instead of recognizing the areas of common ground and the potential for growth together.

What we need to realize is that everyone has a different model of the world. They perceive the same events and surroundings in a different way according to the filters their subconscious has built up ie attitudes, beliefs, values. No two people will describe an event in the same way. It does not mean one is right and one is wrong, just different and that makes for an interesting world.
It is too easy to erect a wall and say, “Go away, you’re not like me.”

Back to the game and after we looked for someone with similarities, we had to find someone completely different and then had ten minutes to devise a business uniting our individual talents, abilities and experience. Three pairs actually went on to form those businesses for real.

There is no one right way of making a business successful. Certain billionaires could not be more different in their approaches yet their uniqueness made their success possible, once they gathered complementary support around them. The Wealth Dynamics profile devised by Roger Hamilton classifies us as predominantly one of eight types and suggests that any business or relationship will benefit most when individuals with different qualities and strengths on the eight points work together. This is about who you are, finding your personal flow and creating the most beneficial relationships.

Take the Wealth Dynamics Profile Test

Take your Wealth Profile test Now!

There is a Wealth Dynamics starter kit:

and a Wealth Dynamics Power Pack:

The same applies to any form of relationship. Some of the best and most long-lasting marriages are between people who are completely different yet complementary to each other.

Look for the similarities that can form the basis of a lasting relationship, not the differences that keep us apart. “Together, we can” but apart our growth will be slow and limited.

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century . Visit for details of how hypnotherapy, NLP and personal development training can assist your own journey for change.

Pygmalion and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies in Your Life

The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, refers to the phenomenon that the greater the expectation placed upon people, often children or students, the better they perform. The effect is named after Pygmalion, a Cypriot sculptor in a narrative by Ovid in Greek mythology, who falls in love with a female statue he has carved out of ivory.

King Pygmalion of Cyprus searched for the perfect woman and when he could not find her, decided to create her. He carved a statue out of ivory and the result was so beautiful that you would have to touch the statue to confirm that she was not real flesh and blood. Pygmalion loved his perfect woman statue so much that he called her Galatea and gave her gifts daily. Pygmalion spent his days gazing longingly upon Galatea and her perfect but inaminate curves. He looked into her eyes, and he talked to her. He dressed and adorned her with beautiful clothing and jewels. He would lie her down on a couch covered with sumptuous pillows, spoiling her as if she was not made of ivory, but as if she were living and breathing, silently accepting his love.

One day he announced that he would wed his love. Of course, everyone thought he was mad and his advisors tried to stop his crazy plan but he believed so strongly that he prayed morning and night to Aphrodite, the god of love, for a woman as beautiful as his statue. Pygmalion ordered the finest wedding gown for his “bride”, the real bride he expected to wed. Aphrodite was so touched by his fervent belief, dedication and love that, on the morning of the planned wedding, she shot an arrow through the statue and brought Galatea to life.

The pygmalion effect, is a concept in psychology describing the behavior of individuals as people expect them to behave. Our expectations create a circle of self-fulfilling prophecies:

• We form certain expections of people or events.
• We communicate those expectations with various cues.
• People tend to respond to these cues by adjusting their behaviour to match them.
• The result is that the original expectation becomes true.

Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson (1968/1992) report and discuss the Pygmalion effect at length, in relation to education and how teachers’ expectations of certain children can result in better or worse performance. They worked with elementary school children from 18 classrooms and observed how the teachers responded to the children when told that they were bright or low achievers.

"Edify a person in advance for the positive traits you want him or her to have, and you'll find them making a concerted effort to live up to your praise." - Bob Burg

Are other people’s expectations of us, positive or negative, causing this effect in our lives? Are we consciously or more likely, unconsciously, transmitting messages to others which cause them to respond in a way so eventually we can say, “I told you so.” As parents, teachers, bosses, it is good to reflect on the substance and intent of our verbal and non-verbal communication. Do we praise someone with words yet our body language communicates a different message?

We can't change anyone but if you want someone to change, change the way you feel about them. Nagging doesn't work but your attitude and belief about them will cause them to be and act in a different way.

"When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer

"Things do not change; we change." - Henry David Thoreau

I once heard a hypnotherapy case study about a boy with very bad asthma. His mother had tried every form of medical help. One day someone heard her say, “His asthma has been bad all his life, ever since his difficult birth.” The mother was encouraged to undergo hypnotic regression during which all the details of the birth were “rewritten” eg the colour of the midwife’s uniform was changed and every step of the birth was reprogrammed until the woman’s unconscious mind adopted a new version of her son’s birth. The boy’s asthma subsequently cleared up. Note that the regression was carried out on the mother, not the boy. Her expectations of his poor health from birth onwards were somehow causing him to manifest that poor health. A self-fulfilling prophecy indeed.

The Pygmalion effect is now recognized and sometimes taught in management training but not everyone realizes the effect of their words or expectations on others.

Further reading:
Source: Wikipedia - Pygmalion Pygmalion effect and the Greek myth of Pygmalion

An article on Human Resources relating to the Pygmalion effect

Article on the Pygmalion effect

Books on Pygmalion Effect at
Books on Pygmalion Effect at

©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century . Visit for details of how hypnotherapy, NLP and personal development training can assist your own journey for change.

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Can You Learn to Speak Like 10 Year Old Dalton Sherman?

At 10, Dalton Sherman is a speech-making pro. Since winning a big oratory competition in Dallas, he has spoken at numerous churches and events all over Dallas. He was keynote speaker at an educational conference for 20,000 people on 25 August 2008.

“He has the ‘it’ factor,” said Dawn Blair, Dalton’s godmother. “Like Tiger has it, Obama. You can’t put your finger on it.”

Dalton’s speech was directed toward teachers. The applause motivated him, especially when he gestured and gave shout-outs to different neighborhoods, telling teachers to help children no matter where they’re from. “We need you,” he told them.

He was coached all summer focusing on proper diction and pronunciation of words. Ms. Redmond said she immediately recognized his big vocabulary when she began coaching him and he worked hard in response. Mrs. Sherman uses a worn book of her grandfather’s, “Natural Drills in Expression,” published in 1909, to coach her son on pronunciation.

Demonstrating, she reads a sentence. Dalton repeats it— “to dare, to do, to die.” He loves the book.

“I hope that I touch a lot of people,” Dalton added.

In June, he memorized the words. Then he practiced giving the speech up to three times a week at his family’s church, Concord Missionary Baptist. His mother and Ms. Redmond stood in the balcony as he practiced his movements and the built-in pauses to punctuate the text.

Dalton wants to be a news anchor someday, but he’s got even bigger plans. “Maybe after that, I’ll try to be president,” he says. “I want to be the next Obama.”

Visit a detailed Analysis of Dalton Sherman's speech

Full text of Dalton Sherman’s keynote speech “Do you Believe in Me?”

If a 10 year old boy can learn how to give a speech in such a way, you can also learn. A local chapter of Toastmasters International can help you develop public speaking techniques sharing feedback of what was good and points for improvement. Learn from others. Overcome your nerves in a safe environment, learning step by step. The Competent Communicator programme of ten speeches will guide you through different challenges while you speak on topics of your choice. After achieving the Competent Communicator level, we go on to three advanced levels with a choice of 50 manuals as guidelines. Many professional speakers honed their techniques in Toastmasters, Steve Pavlina being one of them. We also learn to think and speak on our feet with Table Topics – impromptu speeches of up to two minutes. Toastmasters is challenging but also fun and social. 85 years old, there are nearly 250,000 members in more than 12,500 clubs in 106 countries!

Hypnotherapy can help you to overcome nerves, stage fright, blushing, anxiety or excessive sweating. I help to boost someone's self-confidence and then work specifically on the issue eg unwanted habit. Sometimes I include NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) for fast belief or behaviour change. I have helped many people with their fear and anxiety around public speaking.

Antonia Harrison from Personal Development in the 21st Century , the English Hypnotherapist & NLP Practitioner in Belgium .

What is Personal Development?

I am often asked, "What is Personal Development?" Here is a summary found on Wikipedia.

Personal development for individuals refers to actions or aspirations oriented towards one or more of the following aims:

improving self-awareness
improving self-knowledge
building or renewing identity
developing strengths or talents
identifying or improving potential
building employability or human capital
enhancing lifestyle or the quality of life
realizing dreams
fulfilling aspirations

The concept covers a wider field than self-development or self-help. Personal development also includes developing other people (inter-personal development, compare personnel development) and, by extension, covers:

personal-development methods
personal-development programs
personal-development tools
personal-development techniques
personal-development assessment systems

Source: Wikipedia

Antonia Harrison from Personal Development in the 21st Century