“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges." - Joseph F. Newton
I once played a game on a seminar where we had to write down ten words about ourselves starting with “I am” eg I am a mother, I am English, I am a skier, I am intelligent. With that list pinned to our chest, we then walked around the room of 150 people looking for someone else who displayed similar “I ams”. I found people with other description words to which I could relate but not the ones on my list. When the facilitator stopped the game, there were three of us who had not found a similar partner. The question is,
“If you are looking for differences to keep you apart in this game, where else are you doing this in your life?”
In any form of relationship, we cannot expect to find a photocopy of ourselves. In fact, that would be boring because we would never learn from each other.
Countries go to war over a small difference of opinion, instead of finding a way to live in harmony.
Companies pull out of mergers due to a difference in operating procedures, instead of focusing on the why of mutual benefits and then working out how to work together.
Relationships fall apart because one partner is looking for certain attributes or interests instead of recognizing the areas of common ground and the potential for growth together.
What we need to realize is that everyone has a different model of the world. They perceive the same events and surroundings in a different way according to the filters their subconscious has built up ie attitudes, beliefs, values. No two people will describe an event in the same way. It does not mean one is right and one is wrong, just different and that makes for an interesting world.
It is too easy to erect a wall and say, “Go away, you’re not like me.”
Back to the game and after we looked for someone with similarities, we had to find someone completely different and then had ten minutes to devise a business uniting our individual talents, abilities and experience. Three pairs actually went on to form those businesses for real.
There is no one right way of making a business successful. Certain billionaires could not be more different in their approaches yet their uniqueness made their success possible, once they gathered complementary support around them. The Wealth Dynamics profile devised by Roger Hamilton classifies us as predominantly one of eight types and suggests that any business or relationship will benefit most when individuals with different qualities and strengths on the eight points work together. This is about who you are, finding your personal flow and creating the most beneficial relationships.
Take the Wealth Dynamics Profile Test
There is a Wealth Dynamics starter kit:
and a Wealth Dynamics Power Pack:
The same applies to any form of relationship. Some of the best and most long-lasting marriages are between people who are completely different yet complementary to each other.
Look for the similarities that can form the basis of a lasting relationship, not the differences that keep us apart. “Together, we can” but apart our growth will be slow and limited.
©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century . Visit www.AntoniaHarrison.com for details of how hypnotherapy, NLP and personal development training can assist your own journey for change.