When A Door Closes

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us." - Helen Keller

The Glass Jar

There are many versions of this story so here is mine:





A famous teacher sat in front of a group of new students. He placed a large glass jar on the table. He looked at the students but said nothing.

Then out of a bag he took ten rocks and began placing them, one by one, into the jar until there was no more room in the jar. When the jar was filled to the brim with rocks, he asked his students:

"Is the jar full?"

They all agreed that it was.

The teacher then took some pebbles from another bag and carefully poured them into the jar around the rocks until no more pebbles would fit. He again asked the group,

‘Tell me, is the jar now full?’

The students said, yes, this time it was definitely full. At that point, the teacher opened a third bag, this time full of fine sand and began to pour it into the jar. He filled up any empty spaces between the large rocks and the pebbles until no more sand would fit in the jar.

He turned to the group and said, “Tell me, is the jar now full?” No one dared to answer.

The teacher said nothing and turned to the floor to pick up a jug of water. He took the jug and carefully poured the water into the jar. He turned to the group and asked, “Tell me, is the jar now full?”

There was silence. He turned to find a small pile of fine dry salt. He carefully dissolved it into the water, around the sand, the pebbles and the rocks until no more salt could be dissolved in the water. Once again he asked the group, “Tell me is the jar now full?”

“Yes,”’ said the teacher. ‘Now the jar is full. What do you think I’ve been trying to demonstrate to you?’ He invited the group to consider the meaning of his story. How did they interpret it? Why had the teacher told it? There were as many interpretations as there were people in the room. The teacher listened to each person. He reflected that each person interpreted the experience through their own particular and unique perspective through which they understood the world.

Then he gave his own interpretation that the jar represents our life so it is up to you how you choose to fill it. The rocks represent the most important and long-lasting ie family, health, your mission, your passion. The pebbles are the projects such as work, education, home. The sand is everyday routine and chores. The water represents the flow of activity and the salt is the extra we can take on when the important has been looked after.

We have to make a solid foundation with the large rocks first because if we fill the jar first with sand, there won’t be any room for the rocks. Likewise, we should prioritize our time with the meaningful rather than all the small insignificant things we do every day. Focus on the important.

What are the plans we postpone, the adventures we never have, the loves we let go by? Ask which are the large, solid rocks that keep our passion alive in us and put them into your jar of decisions now, because very soon there will be no room for them.

Antonia Harrison at Personal Development for the 21st Century

Change Begins With Choice

“Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.” – Jim Rohn

A book can cost as little as a couple of Starbucks coffees which tastes yummy for a few minutes, gives a surge of energy then brings you lower in mood. Or a book can cost as little as a week’s supply of newspapers which leaves your fingers grubby and your mind focused on negativity. You can buy a book in less time than it takes to queue in McDonalds, or order one from Amazon on your smartphone.

You may even have books at home sitting on the shelf. Someone slaved for hours, maybe years to bring that wisdom to you and you just leave it gathering dust.
Even a book you have read many times can give a new message at a different time because you are constantly evolving and so is your mind and your perception of beliefs and values.

“We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence.” – Jim Rohn

Other people can change but it takes time, commitment and life is ok, I’m ok. If ok is ok, then ok, read no further.

I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach when I was just ten years old. It is the story of the seagull within us all who refused to spend his life searching for scraps of food on the ground but wanted to find out how high he could fly. The elders, the seagulls who kept control of the flock, did not like this and felt uncomfortable and threatened by Jonathan’s quest and challenge to them all so they did what most people do: they banned him. Rather than seek to understand, they sent him away. Jonathan could have become downcast, depressed, even suicidal but he met new teachers who took him further on his journey until he went full circle and returned to his flock to share his new knowledge. It can't have been easy to be Jonathan, I mean searching for scraps of food is about all seagulls do.

When we decide to start this journey of personal growth, we threaten the status quo. Other people may feel uncomfortable by our questions so they pull away, keep the relationship superficial or even cease contact.

Why start something meaningful when it is so much easier to fall asleep on the sofa?

Who wants to read a book, listen to a motivational CD or make breakthroughs at a seminar when you can pour a third glass of wine and settle down to the next episode of a TV programme? Not everyone wants to be Jonathan but as I always say, “Everyone dies but how many people live?”

As children we dream unlimited dreams where everything is possible, even flying. Life is like one long brainstorm where the ideas flow and no-one interjects with rational assessment. Somewhere in the early teens, the grown-ups start finding reasons why our dreams are not achievable and these are totally based on their own beliefs and attitudes.

Sir Richard Branson, the founder of the Virgin group of companies, was diagnosed as dyslexic. His teacher said he would either end up in prison or a millionaire. He ignored the conventions, sought a loan from Coutts Bank dressed in a suit but without shoes, dared to believe and kept stretching his own goalposts. Now worth £4.2 Billion, the Virgin group has challenged the status quo of business, annoyed many companies who thought they had a monopoly eg British Airways and Sir Richard continues to surprise with his unique way of viewing the world and conducting business. Of course, he has also pushed himself with personal challenges in sailing and hot-air ballooning.

” We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today.” – Jim Rohn

Of course, if life is not how we would like it to be, then there are plenty of people to blame because it could not possibly be our fault, could it? When you think of all the times someone has won a promotion unfairly, been given a chance that should have been ours or has attracted the more desirable partner – well, life just dealt the cards that way, didn´t it?

I don’t believe so. As hard as it is to accept, I believe that we are responsible for the way our lives have turned out. I know there are choices I made that lead to circumstances, relationships, seizing of opportunities and other times when it all seemed like too much work so I held back.

Have you ever had an idea for a product but didn’t take it to market only to watch someone else earn the money or the glory? Well it was clearly someone else’s fault that you didn’t e.g. your spouse held you back, your boss made you work unreasonable hours etc. Sir Richard has never had to blame his wife for holding him back even though there were times when she wanted him to stop his death-defying challenges. He made the decisions and did it anyway.

Here’s an idea for you: for the next seven days, every time you shame, blame or justify yourself or anyone else, pop a Dollar/Pound/Euro in a vase and give the money to charity at the end of the week. It will give you a wake-up call.
So is it possible to change? The name of my company is CHANGE for a very good reason: I help people to change, not over years, but quickly. Sometimes in the flash of a moment.

There is no such thing as an unresourceful person, just an unresourceful state. We have all the resources within us. Sometimes other people can see potential in us, can see the limiting beliefs which are chaining us to the past instead of the future of no limits.

It takes a brave person to change but if you were not brave, you would not be reading this text. A change in mindset is so liberating and it can happen right now, this moment. You have the power to choose to change.

“Change is the essential process of all existence.” – Spock, stardate 5730.2

When would now be a good time to change?

©Antonia Harrison 2011.
Antonia Harrison is the English Hypnosis & NLP Coach in Belgium. Her passion is personal growth, her mission to inspire and motivate herself and others on our journey in life.

Quotes from Jim Rohn

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