"On Thanksgiving Day, we must be thankful for what we have, rather than focus on what we have lost. We have so much. An attitude of gratitude is received by the universe and rewarded with more of what is good. Resentment, hurt, bitterness and sadness just close our hearts and fill us with negative energy leaving no room for anything of value."
The pain of a recent unexpected break-up is still very raw. After all the love, the promises and expectations, It is normal that I feel hurt, sad and a tremendous feeling of loss. I thought this was it, my partner for the rest of my days but he changed his mind and did not give any clue that he was about to walk out. A feeling of resentment towards him for doing this to me and my children is totally warranted. How could he hurt us? How could he do this to his own children? So many questions. But do they serve me? Only if I learn from them.
I wrote the Thanksgiving Day quote as a reminder to myself. If I focus on everything I have lost and continue to feel all the negative emotions, I can only expect to attract more of the same into my life. As much as I want to believe that there is a future, there will be someone even better, of course it is difficult to even think that for a moment. But if I focus on the pain, the negative energy I send out will attract the wrong man, setting me up for more hurt in the future. I don’t want that, of course, but an unconscious belief will create the force that manifests that result again and again.
A friend asked me, “How did you attract this into your life?” I was angry with his reaction. I didn’t attract this break-up. I did everything I could to be a wonderful girlfriend and second mother to his children. But the Law of Attraction states clearly that we do attract everything into our life. We must take responsibility for our life and be on the cause side of the cause/effect equation. I must ask, “What did I do to cause this?”. I do not know but being the victim on the effect side does not serve me, it only keeps me in pain. What will it cost me to stay here? This relationship and possibly any future ones. Certainly inner peace and contentment.
I know that to create the life I want to live, I have to start with an attitude of gratitude.
I just remembered a format for prayer I learnt over twenty years ago - ACTS:
Adoration – of God
Confession – of sins
Thanksgiving – of all that we have, all that we are, all that we have received
Supplication – of all that we still ask for
Adoration and Confession are relevant when God is the Father of our life but here I want to concentrate on Thanksgiving comes before Supplication. In the Law of Attraction, we develop an attitude of gratitude in our thoughts and most importantly in our emotions because both give out energy. It is only when we are truly grateful that we can ask.
So what I am grateful for about my relationship? I am grateful that I met him, that we shared so many fun times, that he helped me be a better mother, that he shared knowledge with my sons, that he fixed my central heating system, that we learnt from each other, we experienced real happiness, togetherness, intimacy and a wonderful mutual love for each other. Some people never experience that intensity.
He is not in my life now, at least not today, but I know that he will not come back if he senses negative emotions of blame, hurt, shock, anger, bitterness, torment, suffering, rejection, neediness, pity, despair, powerlessness, panic. Who would want to go back to that? He once said he could feel my love vibes even though he was an hour’s drive away. So he can also feel the energy of negative emotions at a distance. So could any other man I meet and maybe he would be an even better man but I would never know.
Instead, I can use this pain constructively because it is often in the moments of pain that change occurs. We can stay in our comfort zone of discomfort but pain brings that all-important life-changing decision to do and feel differently.
How about courage, discovery, enthusiasm, optimism, inspiration, hope, pleasure, calm, acceptance, trust and, of course, self-love and respect?
Change can occur in the snap of a finger if we choose to try on a different way of being. I have an enormous wealth of personal development knowledge, skills and resources. I don’t need to look outside for help. I just need to change my state and be resourceful. The universe will only respond positively when I drain my heart of the negative clutter and fill up with positive energy.
So I am going to focus, really focus on something positive and be truly grateful for blessings. Let go of hurt and any negative state which does not serve me. Give thanks and more thanks. Go out into nature and breathe in the simple richness of creation and be grateful for what I have today. Tomorrow is tomorrow but today is all we truly have.
©Antonia Harrison 2009 from Personal Development in the 21st Century and The Secret and Law of Attraction .